Around me

What's happening around me...

For one thing, Eric is in the brink of eternal bliss according to his latest blog entry. Good for him. For another, tomorrow, Michelle and Beau are going to be married. Congratulations to both of them.

What's happening inside me...

All Saints Day is approaching fast and I'm reminded to miss my late sister who died when she was seven. I wrote a poem in her memory and I hope to finish it in time for the November 1 remembrances. I sincerely wish she were alive today. It'd have been great to have a real sister (not just a friend who you consider a sister).

I'm currently reading "Peter Pan in Scarlet" by Geraldine McCaughrean, the official sequel to JM Barrie's classic novel, "Peter and Wendy". The book is an advanced Christmas present from my best friend. The only real reason why I haven't finished the book yet is that I got sick a couple of days after receiving the book (last week) and this week I am pretty much busy creating photo story videos for my best friend's trip. Finishing the book by now would have been nice, but making my best friend happy (who gave me the book in the first place) is pretty enjoyable, too. She's happy. I'm happy. What's not to love?

Grace, beauty, and kindness

Once upon grace, beauty, and kindness you truly became my friend. It was when I almost said goodbye. I wanna play the meeting again and again inside my mind. The moment that you stopped being an acquaintance and became a friend. After that, the moment that you stopped being a friend and became a best friend, my closest friend. I was determined to get close from the start, but as I inched myself closer people noticed. And they had other things in mind. None of which involved me being this close to you. They labeled my intentions and took it upon themselves to build a wall around you and another, even taller one, around me. At one point I was the one building the wall around me. I was frightened. I almost gave up. But I didn't and I am glad. I'm glad I didn't stop talking to you, despite my confusion and assumptions and doubts. I'm grateful you didn't stop talking to me. I'm glad I continued walking this path. Imperfect it may be, but it's the only one I know.

I don't know if you consider me your best friend or a close friend. But does it really matter? I decided to make this an unconditional friendship. You don't have to name me your best friend. You don't have to call me your closest friend. It wouldn't change a thing. I would still consider you my best friend. I would still call you my closest friend. Any closer and you would be a sister. A sister that I had and then never had since Emily died when she was seven (I was four).

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I'm transported to a world where you and I are more than friends. That I loved you beyond friendship. That you loved me beyond friendship. But when I open them, I'm transported back to this world. A world where only the first is true. Where the latter is uncertain but didn't matter.

I will be who you want me to be. I will be what you need me to be. Our paths have crossed and then didn't cross. Even if our paths will never cross again, even if in the future the roads we are taking are forever perfectly parallel to each other, never intersecting, never meeting, I am happy. I will find comfort in knowing where you are, where I am, and at what direction we are moving. I will find comfort that at one moment in time, at one point in my life, you became my closest friend. That at one point in time, a time I will forever treasure in my heart, we met. We met the moment I almost said goodbye.

Note: This attempt at prose poetry (yes, such thing exists, google it up) is inspired by an angel feather that tickles me everyday.

"But from that moment on, Hermione Granger became their friend. There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them."[Chapter 10, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone]

In the timeline we call life, there are brief magical moments that changed its direction. Meeting a friend, no not the time we learn each other's name, beyond that, the exact magical second that somebody truly becomes our friend, is one of these wonderful sparks in our timelines. Small compared to the rest of the line. Barely noticeable. But if we squint our eyes a bit more and a bit longer, they're there for us to cherish. Forever.