I thought it would be nice to have a banner for my blog, so I created one. The picture in the banner was that of the lake at Del Monte Golf Course. It's probably the tee #11 or #12 for senior golfers. I don't know. I forgot. But I love this part of the course. The tee was in a little island in the lake. I like that it had a bench at the end of the bridge that connected the little island to the rest of the golf course. Spread around the golf course were the company houses provided for Bugo and Plantation-assigned DM executives. How nice it would be at the end of each day to sit in that bench, relax, think, and blog.
***
And of course, whenever I think of the DM Golf Course, I remember her. And yeah, I wouldn't admit it before, but they were right, I went there just to see her, at least at first. But if I really think about if, if I can be objective about it, more than half the time (probably even two-thirds) I went there, I never saw her. So in the end I'd like to think that this proved that I went there because of the golf course more than anything else. One time I went there with just two hours of sleep (went home at 2:00 AM from a Saturday night out with friends, slept, and then woke up at 4:00 AM to get ready). I remember I was very sleepy in the ride going to the course, and sleepy while eating breakfast at the clubhouse. But as we started and I got to see the view of the course, breathed the fresh air, smelled the freshly-cut grass and the pleasant smell of pine trees, I was energized. The whole course was more than 6 km of walk, but I forgot that just minutes before I was tired and lacked sleep. There's something about walking that golf course that I love. It's the reflections about my life that I got while walking the scenic route. It's the reason why I now call this blog "Walk With Carl". This blog, like the walk, gives me a venue to think about my life and where it's headed. Now it's not literal where I write my goals in life here in this blog, rather this blog has been a tool for me to reflect on where I came from (my history, at least that which I chose to write about) and gives me an insight or hint at where I am headed.
***
And yes, the Moalboal trip last weekend. And the customary birthday post (which I conveniently forgot to write). More on these later.
Showing posts with label walk with me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label walk with me. Show all posts
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Just dreams
Last year, I attended the World Youth Day Cross vigil here in Cagayan de Oro. The cross was en route to Sydney, Australia for the World Youth Day 2008. I dream of attending the event.
Last year, I wanted to attend a solitary retreat for my birthday.
This year, I would have loved to attend the three-day stay-in holy week retreat sponsored by Xavier University.
In kindergarten, I wrote "Doctor" as my ambition in our yearbook. In elementary, I wrote "Physical Therapist". In senior year high school, I wrote "Accountancy" as my first choice on what course to take. In college, I finished "Computer Science".
From when I was seven until I was nine, I used to draw stick drawings that to me passed as "movie posters" on a cardboards. Now I have this secret ambition of writing a novel. Could I ever achieve this?
In college, I told myself that I would write computer games for a living. Now I write business applications.
We were close. And then far. We connected. And then lost touch.
I dreamt. And then hoped. Changed my mind. And then hoped.
Life is more than a journey. It's a chase. May I gain speed as I grow. And so may you.
God speed.
Last year, I wanted to attend a solitary retreat for my birthday.
This year, I would have loved to attend the three-day stay-in holy week retreat sponsored by Xavier University.
In kindergarten, I wrote "Doctor" as my ambition in our yearbook. In elementary, I wrote "Physical Therapist". In senior year high school, I wrote "Accountancy" as my first choice on what course to take. In college, I finished "Computer Science".
From when I was seven until I was nine, I used to draw stick drawings that to me passed as "movie posters" on a cardboards. Now I have this secret ambition of writing a novel. Could I ever achieve this?
In college, I told myself that I would write computer games for a living. Now I write business applications.
We were close. And then far. We connected. And then lost touch.
I dreamt. And then hoped. Changed my mind. And then hoped.
Life is more than a journey. It's a chase. May I gain speed as I grow. And so may you.
God speed.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
2007
I wanted to have the usual end of year list. Every blog should have it at the end of each year. List of books that I liked and not liked, movies, tv shows, and events. It's too late to do that now (obviously) so I'll just write some of my thoughts of the year that was 2007.
“I went to take memories. And to talk more than to see. Never got the chance on talking.”
In 2006, I took every opportunity to have my picture taken in my cubicle, in the cubicle of my colleagues, in the canteen, and in the small landmark places outside our office building. I took the opportunities to take pictures of my colleagues. I joined a colleague in his golf games, not to play golf, but to take pictures of the golf course that my previous employer owned. Somehow I knew, I would be leaving the company.
And in the second half of 2007, I did leave the company to work for another one in another city. It was an opportunity to try to fend for myself and train rigorously in the field that I now loved, an opportunity that was too good to miss and couldn’t have come at a better time. There were rumors that our department will be dissolved, replaced by the IT department of the new owner’s company. There were talks that it won’t happen. I did not wait to see which is true. I left.
“How are you?”
“The decision was the right one, given the circumstance.”
The thing about leaving your comfort zone is that you grow uncomfortable. For the first time I was away from home, from my family, from my friends that I have known since I was four, and the colleagues that I had worked with, laughed with, talked with, and sang with for over four years. It’s like being under the sun all of a sudden when your whole life you only knew rain. It’s a good thing that work is similar to the previous one. If it hadn’t, it would have been like sucked in a whirlwind instead of just being thrown in a world where the familiar rain is absent, replaced by the warm sunlight.
After over six months in the uncomfort zone number one, life is getting better. I can see the heavy clouds looming ahead. Soon enough, the drizzle will come. And then the familiar rain. The heat will give way to the relaxing coolness.
“Do you think your 2008 will be better than last year?”
“Don’t know. Does the wind always come before the rain?”
I don’t want to predict my 2008, not that anyone can predict what will happen in the future. But one always prays that the new year would be better than the last. Each year contains its set of setbacks and its set of advances. How can I chose one over the other?
“Any new year resolution?”
“I don’t know what it means anymore.”
To lose X number of pounds. To lose X number of enemies and gain X number of friends. Never commit the same mistakes again, would that be a resolution? If so, then that’s probably it. I’d love to achieve that. I probably won’t.
“Were you happy with how your new year started?”
“Outside the comfort zone, the start of the year went unnoticed.”
It’s almost March and I’m just writing this now. I am happy.
“I went to take memories. And to talk more than to see. Never got the chance on talking.”
In 2006, I took every opportunity to have my picture taken in my cubicle, in the cubicle of my colleagues, in the canteen, and in the small landmark places outside our office building. I took the opportunities to take pictures of my colleagues. I joined a colleague in his golf games, not to play golf, but to take pictures of the golf course that my previous employer owned. Somehow I knew, I would be leaving the company.
And in the second half of 2007, I did leave the company to work for another one in another city. It was an opportunity to try to fend for myself and train rigorously in the field that I now loved, an opportunity that was too good to miss and couldn’t have come at a better time. There were rumors that our department will be dissolved, replaced by the IT department of the new owner’s company. There were talks that it won’t happen. I did not wait to see which is true. I left.
“How are you?”
“The decision was the right one, given the circumstance.”
The thing about leaving your comfort zone is that you grow uncomfortable. For the first time I was away from home, from my family, from my friends that I have known since I was four, and the colleagues that I had worked with, laughed with, talked with, and sang with for over four years. It’s like being under the sun all of a sudden when your whole life you only knew rain. It’s a good thing that work is similar to the previous one. If it hadn’t, it would have been like sucked in a whirlwind instead of just being thrown in a world where the familiar rain is absent, replaced by the warm sunlight.
After over six months in the uncomfort zone number one, life is getting better. I can see the heavy clouds looming ahead. Soon enough, the drizzle will come. And then the familiar rain. The heat will give way to the relaxing coolness.
“Do you think your 2008 will be better than last year?”
“Don’t know. Does the wind always come before the rain?”
I don’t want to predict my 2008, not that anyone can predict what will happen in the future. But one always prays that the new year would be better than the last. Each year contains its set of setbacks and its set of advances. How can I chose one over the other?
“Any new year resolution?”
“I don’t know what it means anymore.”
To lose X number of pounds. To lose X number of enemies and gain X number of friends. Never commit the same mistakes again, would that be a resolution? If so, then that’s probably it. I’d love to achieve that. I probably won’t.
“Were you happy with how your new year started?”
“Outside the comfort zone, the start of the year went unnoticed.”
It’s almost March and I’m just writing this now. I am happy.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Valentines 08
Happy Valentine's Day to all. One of those "Hallmark" holidays as they say. Created for a commercial purpose. I'm very sleepy now.
***
Here's a song that I like right now. It's "Nessun dorma", in English "No one shall sleep." Popularized by the late tenor Luciano Pavarotti from the opera "Turandot". Search for it on the net. Once you'll listen to it you'll say, "Ahh, I've heard that before..."
***
Here's a song that I like right now. It's "Nessun dorma", in English "No one shall sleep." Popularized by the late tenor Luciano Pavarotti from the opera "Turandot". Search for it on the net. Once you'll listen to it you'll say, "Ahh, I've heard that before..."
| The Prince | |
| Nessun dorma, nessun dorma ... Tu pure, o Principessa, Nella tua fredda stanza, Guardi le stelle Che tremano d'amore E di speranza. | No one sleeps, no one sleeps... Even you, o Princess, In your cold room, Watch the stars, That tremble with love And with hope. |
| Ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me, Il nome mio nessun saprà, no, no, Sulla tua bocca lo dirò Quando la luce splenderà, Ed il mio bacio scioglierà il silenzio Che ti fa mia. | But my secret is hidden within me; My name no one shall know, no, no, On your mouth I will speak it* When the light shines, And my kiss will dissolve the silence That makes you mine. |
| Chorus | |
| Il nome suo nessun saprà E noi dovrem, ahimè, morir. | No one will know his name And we must, alas, die. |
| The Prince | |
| Dilegua, o notte! Tramontate, stelle! All'alba vincerò! | Vanish, o night! Set**, stars! At daybreak, I shall conquer! |
Those good old dreams
When I sent my application to DM five years ago it was not business, it was personal. My mother worked for the company for 37 years and my father for around 20 years (I can't pull the exact figure off the top of my head right now). Discounting the scholarship I got over the years of my life as a student, the money that my parents got from DM pretty much paid for my education, not to mention the food on our table, and come to think of it, the table itself where eat the food. In my application five years ago, I said in my cover letter that I hope to serve the company for the same number of years like my parents did. I wanted to nurture a career in IT within the company and was prepared to retire with the company. Not being able to realize this now is the saddest part of leaving DM because when I wrote it in my application letter I meant it.
Some of our dreams come true. Some don't. This is one of mine that won't.
Some of our dreams come true. Some don't. This is one of mine that won't.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Pursuit of happiness
Lie about your dreams and who will help you achieve them?
Here's my favorite realization of 2007. This never made it in my blog the day it came hopping to my mind like a frog who was convinced it was more than a frog. I never got around to write it, until I was asked the question just hours ago, which was really not directly related to this one realization, which in turn makes me wonder a bit why write this down now.
In between the lines and in between everything that was said, facial expressions and all, I saw a girl who wanted to live her dreams after years of putting them aside. Those dreams were apparently not here in the Philippines. And I long since put it as the reason why she pushed away any guy that came too close, unless that guy also had dreams that are far from this country.
But did she have to lie?
Dr. Gregory House would say, "everybody lies." Lie about your dreams and who will help you achieve them? Those few whom you told the truth, of course. When people don't tell you about their ambitions, or lie about it when asked, it just means that the dreamer decided that you have no role in achieving it.
Here's my favorite realization of 2007. This never made it in my blog the day it came hopping to my mind like a frog who was convinced it was more than a frog. I never got around to write it, until I was asked the question just hours ago, which was really not directly related to this one realization, which in turn makes me wonder a bit why write this down now.
In between the lines and in between everything that was said, facial expressions and all, I saw a girl who wanted to live her dreams after years of putting them aside. Those dreams were apparently not here in the Philippines. And I long since put it as the reason why she pushed away any guy that came too close, unless that guy also had dreams that are far from this country.
***
But did she have to lie?
Dr. Gregory House would say, "everybody lies." Lie about your dreams and who will help you achieve them? Those few whom you told the truth, of course. When people don't tell you about their ambitions, or lie about it when asked, it just means that the dreamer decided that you have no role in achieving it.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
On Snape and Hermione
Here's something I posted in a Harry Potter mailing list on May 7, 2003 weeks before the release of book five (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix):
The only teaser that I want (from this stunt by the British publishers) is
whether or not Severus Snape realizes that Hermione Granger is displaying
skills that perhaps he himself displayed while he was a student at Hogwarts.
I tried to imagine Snape while he was in Hogwarts and it just dawned on me
that it's highly likely that he was just like Hermione Granger.
Intelligent, bookish, and showing more than a decent mastery over the
various wizarding skills.
I mean look at Hermione. She's very good in all subjects except perhaps in
Divination and in flying lessons (which is yet unclear because the book have
never really tackled Hermione's broomstick skills). She brewed the
Polyjuice Potion in the Chamber (are we seeing a potions master in the
making?). She taught Harry almost all the spells that the he knows.
And look at Snape. He can do spells without his wand (saving Harry in his
first Quidditch game). He's not bad with his wand, either (duel with
Lockhart). He's the potions master. I even believe that he didn't actually
fancy teaching the DADA classes. Potion seems to be, aside from
Transfiguration, the most powerful branch of wizardry; "put a stopper in
death", bring almost dead people back to life(Voldemort).
I will not be surprise if at the end of book seven Hermione Granger pursues
a career as a professor in Hogwarts (or Durmstrang) teaching Potions.
The only teaser that I want (from this stunt by the British publishers) is
whether or not Severus Snape realizes that Hermione Granger is displaying
skills that perhaps he himself displayed while he was a student at Hogwarts.
I tried to imagine Snape while he was in Hogwarts and it just dawned on me
that it's highly likely that he was just like Hermione Granger.
Intelligent, bookish, and showing more than a decent mastery over the
various wizarding skills.
I mean look at Hermione. She's very good in all subjects except perhaps in
Divination and in flying lessons (which is yet unclear because the book have
never really tackled Hermione's broomstick skills). She brewed the
Polyjuice Potion in the Chamber (are we seeing a potions master in the
making?). She taught Harry almost all the spells that the he knows.
And look at Snape. He can do spells without his wand (saving Harry in his
first Quidditch game). He's not bad with his wand, either (duel with
Lockhart). He's the potions master. I even believe that he didn't actually
fancy teaching the DADA classes. Potion seems to be, aside from
Transfiguration, the most powerful branch of wizardry; "put a stopper in
death", bring almost dead people back to life(Voldemort).
I will not be surprise if at the end of book seven Hermione Granger pursues
a career as a professor in Hogwarts (or Durmstrang) teaching Potions.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Friday, April 13, 2007
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Walk with me
I'm renaming my blog, yet again, from Carl News Network to the simpler Walk With Carl. What does this mean? Nothing, really. I just have nothing better to do. For those who are interested (yeah right), the name history of this blog now looks like this:
It has been a long walk since 2004 and I don't see it ending anytime soon. Along the way I have posted embarrassing stuffs as well as stuffs that I am proud of. Along the way I have posted a lot of questions, some of them have been answered. Along the way I have written things that were only true back then. There have been a lot of changes since I started this walk. This is just another one.
Do you have a minute? Walk with me.
- 2007 February - Walk With Carl
- 2005 September - Carl News Network
- 2004 May - The Smaller Picture
It has been a long walk since 2004 and I don't see it ending anytime soon. Along the way I have posted embarrassing stuffs as well as stuffs that I am proud of. Along the way I have posted a lot of questions, some of them have been answered. Along the way I have written things that were only true back then. There have been a lot of changes since I started this walk. This is just another one.
Do you have a minute? Walk with me.
Friday, February 9, 2007
Hayley
Walking with Hayley is like a guided tour of heaven. The rough road is transformed into a golden pathway. The houses that go whichever way quickly dressed up in uniforms. In a moment each one is as tall as the other one. I walk with Hayley and my steps go lighter every word she says. Problems, gone. Worries, gone. All smiles.
I smile even as she confides a sad story. I smile even as she tells it in the brink of tears. I smile because I hear in her voice a promise that everything is going to be okay. I walk away from her assured that I'm going to be fine. She gave me a small cross. Something to remember the promise by, her promise, God's promise. I'll meet my sister again for, as Hayley said, heaven waits for everyone in the end. Heaven will wait for me. My sister will wait for me. I will continue walking. Walk with me.
For Emily.
So why, tell me why the good die young my old friend
I pray that heaven waits for everyone in the end
And love, love is how we cross that bridge to the light
A star that is what you are in my darkest night
Be always by my side
-Hayley Westenra, Heaven
I pray that heaven waits for everyone in the end
And love, love is how we cross that bridge to the light
A star that is what you are in my darkest night
Be always by my side
-Hayley Westenra, Heaven
I smile even as she confides a sad story. I smile even as she tells it in the brink of tears. I smile because I hear in her voice a promise that everything is going to be okay. I walk away from her assured that I'm going to be fine. She gave me a small cross. Something to remember the promise by, her promise, God's promise. I'll meet my sister again for, as Hayley said, heaven waits for everyone in the end. Heaven will wait for me. My sister will wait for me. I will continue walking. Walk with me.
For Emily.
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