Sarcasm

"Lando", the tropical depression I wrote about in my previous blog post never made a lasting impression. It rained a lot back in Cagayan de Oro, so I'm used to it. The wind that Lando carried was strong, but I've experienced stronger winds when I was young while at vacation in Pulupandan, Negros Occidental. In the entire ordeal, if you can call it that, I never feared for my life. I knew it was nothing.

And it was nothing, which I wished didn't happen because they canceled the crystal lamination class session last Monday, November 19. It wasn't postponed, it was canceled. So instead of two sessions, we had only one. The cancellation was unfortunate because the skies cleared (I'm sure it cleared though I couldn't see it because it was night already) by the time our class was set to end.

Tropical Depression "Lando"

"Lando" is upon us. For a solid two hours (I'm guessing, I didn't really count the hours wheezing by with the rain and winds like long lost best friends who've not seen each other since "Kelly") it showed its fury in full Public Storm Signal No. 2 glory. Wetter than a Signal No. 1, but dryer than a No. 3. (I don't know who came before "Lando" so I just invented "Kelly", which is probably wrong because it's not a very Filipino-sounding storm name.) Now "Lando" is just a 2, so instead of uprooting the palm trees lining the streets of Cardinal Rosales Ave., Lando just shook them violently, cutting their branches and leaves, littering them on the streets across the mall we call The Ayala Center. And instead of the rain pouring like there's no tomorrow, it just poured like crazy, conjuring mini-floods near the traffic lights 50 meters from the Cebu Marriott Hotel where Cardinal Rosales Ave. crosses Luzon Ave.

As I am writing this, the heavens has calmed down a bit. Not that I'm blaming the heavens. It's just that we always describe heaven to be in the skies while hell to be under the underground. If hell was in the skies instead of heaven I'd say hell cooled down, or maybe that it lost another glory. Survivors of Signal No. 2 are continuing with their lives, bracing for and praying against No. 3, and wishing things were as they were in the golden hours, when Lando was just a Public Storm Signal No. 1.

Harden not your heart

"If today you feel Carl's love, harden not your heart."

Ooh, catchy!

***

Near one of the traffic lights, on my way to work, I noticed a man giving spare change to one beggar. I'm not sure if the man's a beggar because I didn't see him begging, but the other man gave him some spare change anyway. I got an advice years ago not to give spare change to beggars. Because somehow, here in the Philippines, you can't trust anyone asking you for alms. They could be hoodlums in greasy, torn clothings. They say they could be professionals, part of the Beggars Who Are Not Really Beggars, Inc. "Save your peso, don't give it to Them." Give them food, instead. Give them bread. For a while I heeded their calls. For a while I believed them.

But what if they have lots of bread already? What if they don't like the bread that you like? Sure, they're beggars they are not supposed to choose. But that's beside the point. Different people like different types of bread, beggars or not.

So for today, starting today, I'm saying if you want to give, give money. Otherwise, keep your bread. If you're not 100% comfortable with giving away your money, then don't give them away. But don't give them your leftover food. Give them money, and let them choose however they want to spend it. I'm not being self-righteous here. I don't regularly give to beggars or to charity. I probably do it once a year only. But it's strange that some people regularly give out alms with pre-conditions. Nobody is forcing you to part with your money. But when you do part from them, you do it completely. Not worrying whether the beggar is really a beggar. Not worrying whether the beggar will buy food or alcohol. Once they're out of your hands, keep it that way or not at all.

The same thing can be said of love. When you give it away, don't worry what will happen next, don't worry how Charisse would respond.

Hale to Champ!

Hale to Champ!

Wow. I'm so original with this pun. Hehe... I'm the one to his right (not the red-shirt wearing dude). This photo is taken right after the private concert Hale did for the two hundred of us. Sorry for the cryptic caption. Must be discrete.

A soul that cares

i have nothing to give you
except my time
my loyalty
my understanding
my friendship
my love
a shoulder to lean on
a shoulder to cry on
i have an ear for listening
a heart for understanding
i am a soul that cares

On Snape and Hermione

Here's something I posted in a Harry Potter mailing list on May 7, 2003 weeks before the release of book five (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix):

The only teaser that I want (from this stunt by the British publishers) is
whether or not Severus Snape realizes that Hermione Granger is displaying
skills that perhaps he himself displayed while he was a student at Hogwarts.
I tried to imagine Snape while he was in Hogwarts and it just dawned on me
that it's highly likely that he was just like Hermione Granger.
Intelligent, bookish, and showing more than a decent mastery over the
various wizarding skills.

I mean look at Hermione. She's very good in all subjects except perhaps in
Divination and in flying lessons (which is yet unclear because the book have
never really tackled Hermione's broomstick skills). She brewed the
Polyjuice Potion in the Chamber (are we seeing a potions master in the
making?). She taught Harry almost all the spells that the he knows.

And look at Snape. He can do spells without his wand (saving Harry in his
first Quidditch game). He's not bad with his wand, either (duel with
Lockhart). He's the potions master. I even believe that he didn't actually
fancy teaching the DADA classes. Potion seems to be, aside from
Transfiguration, the most powerful branch of wizardry; "put a stopper in
death", bring almost dead people back to life(Voldemort).

I will not be surprise if at the end of book seven Hermione Granger pursues
a career as a professor in Hogwarts (or Durmstrang) teaching Potions.

Tomorrow, July 21: Do not disturb

Tomorrow and probably through Sunday...

Do Not Disturb.
Will be reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows...the hard, paper and ink book I reserved from National Bookstore.

My predictions:
Harry will live.
Ron will end up with Hermione.

In other news, today marked my first week in my new job, and tomorrow marks my first full week here in Cebu. It's interesting to be working inside a building where finishing touches are still being done. You notice improvements everyday, and your working environment is improving daily. If I had any doubts if I made the right decision in jumping ships (I had none, by the way), what I learned in the first few weeks about my new company erased it all.

One of those finer things about my new company: one of my fellow new joiner fell sick with dengue, and the next day my new company gave us free anti-mosquito lotion to protect us from mosquitoes.

On living in Cebu. I don't think it's more expensive than living in Cagayan de Oro. This is a myth, I think. Fine dining here is just as fine as in Cagayan de Oro, and karenderya-dining is just as cheap. Here in Cebu, I spend 6 pesos going to the city-center. Back in Cagayan, it's 20 pesos. There's no place like home, of course, but that's just beside the point.

A song for no one

(Something I wrote around March 2006 after watching the (soprano) Evelyn Mandac Concert at the Rodelsa Hall, March 18, 2006. And like anything that is written in one sitting, it's very amateurish in my opinion. But I'm posting this anyway.)

I sing a song for no one
For they wouldn't care
I sing a song for her
But she doesn't care
If I sing a song for you
Would you care?

With every word I utter
Are the experiences of the lyricists
Every time I sing, I speak for them
I fade away
And the lyricist takes over

But give me a chance, you'll see
Underneath the lyrics and the music
Is me borrowing the perfect words and notes
To describe how I feel
Look further and you'll see me
Listen further and you'll hear me

A Song for No One

How do you say goodbye?

How do you say goodbye...

To the tree that continues to wave their leaves
To the wind that continues to blow
To the rain that continues to pour
To the sea that continues to rush to shore
To the sun that continues to smile

Even as you walk the other way
Even as you can no longer see them
Even as you find yourself miles away
Even as you discover new ones
Even as their pictures fade

They are still there

And you continue walking
Reminiscing
Singing
Thinking
Living

Life is a journey

Chloe's Song

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers, expectant mothers, and sisters who are acting like mothers to their siblings. Chloe is what my officemate, Michelle, calls her still-to-be-born child. Michelle is one true friend that anyone would be lucky to have. There's not a shred of doubt in my mind that she's going to make a great mother to Chloe. And Chloe knows this and, for sure, yearns for the day she'll be born and be held with the utmost care and most sincere love by her mother Michelle and her father Beau.

Chloe's Song

I am sure I am a lucky child
I know this before I am born
You are the most caring mother
I feel this before I see

"I love you, mom"
This I shall say
A thousand times
Before learning to speak

I enjoy your stories
I enjoy your songs
I long for your words
Before knowing what they mean

I am dancing with you
Before knowing how to walk
I am laughing with you
Before knowing how to smile

You put me to rest
And you wake me up
Before knowing what's morning
And how it differs from night

You fed me, and
Your love clothed me
Before knowing what's hunger
Before knowing to shiver

I long to be born, mom
Not to see the world
But to see you, be held by you
The first person who loved me

Thank you for having me
Thank you for being you
Happy Mother's Day
Soon, each other we'll see

Harry lives, predictions part 2

33 dead

Virginia Tech. Before I went to bed last night Fox News Channel was reporting 1 dead and 1 injured. When I woke up, that number rose to 33 dead including the gunman.

God bless the families of the victims.

Harry will survive book seven

A two and a seven

I didn't have a great plan for my birthday. But I did have a plan. Fasting and reflecting. I wanted to spend it by fasting and reflecting. Months ago I had a better plan. Go on a solitary retreat. I have a college classmate who had spent birthdays going on a retreat and I wanted to try it. But somehow I forgot about this better plan and it was too late when I remembered it. Fasting and reflecting is a fine alternative.

But I didn't even get to do it, completely. Somebody with a grudge ruined the plan. Worse is I actually half-expected she'd try to ruin the day.

So I went to see Pursuit of Happyness. My parents had better things to do, of course, than go with me to the movies, any movie. The movie was great. I got teary-eyed in the end. I don't think I was ever so happy for a character in a movie so as to be moved. But there I was, happy for Will Smith's character. I felt exactly the same when Charlie Bucket got the last Golden Ticket when I read Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Yeah, it is a children's book, but I was very happy for Charlie for getting the last ticket. In both movie and book, I knew the feeling. Both stories felt familiar.

At the end of the day, a lot of friends wished me well. And I thanked them all and wished something for them, instead of something for me. About a year ago, I blogged that if there's a day that I could skip once a year, it would have to be my birthday. This is true still. I'm not comfortable with all the attention that I get. I just want to skip it.

Veronika

veronika

the birds stopped singing
they just chirp
the trees stopped dancing
they just sway
the winds stopped talking
they just whisper

veronika thought
and she decided to die

and it paved the way for
other people deciding to live

the decision to take her life,
helped others decide to cherish their's
the irony that's killing her
is breathing life to other souls

***

Read Paulo Coelho's Veronika Decides To Die. Ironically, it's a story about living.

Moonlit vigil

As a child I discovered a garden
Where I could hide myself
Whenever I'm absent from life.
As a child I hid a sun
So my way could have light
And my silence a friend.
- Mario Frangoulis, TON EAFTO TOU PAIDI
- (translated from Greek)

On March 3, the Youth Ministry (where I'm a member) of the local chapter of the Oasis of Love went to the Pelaez Sports Center for the World Youth Day Cross Visit. The WYD cross that is on its way to Sydney for the 2008 World Youth Day was here in our city for two days. Young men and women from and around the city were called to have a vigil. We were supposed to stay there overnight, but since I was feeling weak due to my recent bout with colds and fever, I had to leave the vigil at around twelve midnight. I wish I completed that vigil. I really do.

There were parts of the program that called for all the lights to be turned off and for us to be silent. In those moments, I remember my stargazing nights with my childhood barkada (my neighbors). When I was a child, we can only get two channels. And when there's nothing good to see on TV, the barkada would all go outside into the barren streets (dirt path, really). We had this neighbor who had Bermuda grasses (or is it just grass) in front of their house and we would all go there and sit down and talk. We talked about anything. Talked about the day before. Talked about what happened earlier on the day. Talked about our future, our hopes, our dreams. After a while we'd get tired of talking and we'd just stay there and be under the moon and the stars. In silence. Some of us would lie on our backs (which on hindsight might not have been hygienic, but then again we're just kids) and some would just sit and stare blankly at the empty lot on the other side of the road.

In that WYD Cross Vigil, in that brief moment when the lights were turned off, and there was nothing but the moon that lighted the surrounding, when everyone was called to be silent, I remember my childhood friends and our little moonlit vigils as young kids with nothing important to do. I miss them. I miss those times.

He and himself as a child...
They'll stand together
And see passing by like rivers
Moments that never grow old,
And the faces
That have turned themselves into streets and centuries,
And the dreams
That have dug through the years' hideouts.
- Mario Frangoulis, TON EAFTO TOU PAIDI
- (translated from Greek)

Daughtry

I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
- Chris Daughtry, Home

I'm not really into rock, but I'm loving this album by AI5 finalist Chris Daughtry. It's entitled, Daughtry. I love all tracks, but my favorites are the first five tracks. Now if I have to pick just one favorite track, it would have to be track three, Home. This is like a rock album that makes sense.

I also like AI5 finalist Kellie Pickler's album, but I don't like Katharine McPhee's debut album. I don't think those who voted for McPhee are very happy with her debut album. I can't find the McPhee I saw and heard in the AI5 finals anywhere inside the album (or maybe that's her point? I don't get her). Contrast this to Pickler's debut album. What is likeable and loveable about Pickler is inside her album. I was rooting for McPhee to win AI5, but based on their albums alone it should have been Daughtry who won AI5, with Pickler as the runner up.

Home

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, it makes true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.

Wisdom

For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth
come knowledge and understanding.
- Proverbs 2:6

Note to self: Don't put your happiness in someone else's hands.

***

Note to self: Don't let your free-time dull your brain by watching too much TV. Learn two new languages. Learn Spanish, the language of Spain. Learn Ruby, the language of happy programmers (supposedly). Starting tomorrow if possible. Or how about tonight?

***

Note to self: You really must finish reading Veronika Decides To Die. It's not your book, you just borrowed it from a friend and you should be rereading Harry Potter books one to six by now. That's over 2,000 pages of Harry Potter to read before July 21, 2007.

***

The eight of us: Mae, Eric, Chris, Michelle, Ealbert, PJ, Bimbo, and me. We were supposed to watch 300 last Friday. But we ended up just having dinner at PJ's house. The six of them: fish, rice, fish, Coke, pineapple, and water. I hope we'll push through this Friday.

***

If for every kind word you say you are given one peso, and for every unkind word one peso is taken away from you, will you then be rich or poor?

Tsk tsk tsk... Last week, just because of this person, I would have been on the streets begging for pesos. I remember the 90-10 rule. And it's time to fight back. Time to be happy again.

From Bobby's desk calendar

"Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge
against one of your people,
but love your neighbor as yourself.
I am the LORD."
- Leviticus 19:18

Sing like nobody is listening. Dance like nobody is watching. Love like you've never been hurt. This season of Lent, forgive like you've only been wounded once.

"Loving God, loving others and finding value in ourselves. Without a doubt, these three aspects of love are the most effective weapons against the destructive power of low self-worth."
- Gary Smalley and John Trent

***
The quote and the Bible passage is from the desk calendar of my officemate.

Teach us to number our days aright

We can only live our days wisely when we see God clearly.
- Josh Harris

Sometimes I am too conceited, too confident to think that God is always smiling down on me that I forget that I really do have a lot of transgressions. But when I do remember to look for him, to ask for forgiveness, to ask for blessing, everything becomes clearer.

Seeing God clearly is anything but easy. But in those times that I do see Him clearly, I am truly happy.

Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Relent, O LORD! How long will it be?
Have compassion on your servants.
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
- Psalm 90:12-14

It is that simple, really. I just need to recognize the fleeting nature of my life in order to see things in perspective. That I don't have time to worry over trivial stuffs. Or no time to worry at all. Be true to myself. Find ways to celebrate the things that make me happy and forget about those things that won't.

***

Tomorrow my officemates and I will watch the premiere performance of West Side Story at the Rodelsa Hall of Liceo de Cagayan University. If we push through, it would only be my second time at the Rodelsa Hall. I went there the first time to watch the concert of soprano Evelyn Mandac, which was almost a year ago. It's an excellent place for the performing arts. The seats are very good, wall-to-wall carpeting, superb acoustics, and very theater-y ambiance. I don't think there's a better place for the performing arts here in Mindanao than the Rodelsa Hall.

I think the only reason why serious concerts are not being held there is that it can't hold as many audience as the regular, ugly, lame concert venues here in the city. In other words it's not very "pang-masa". Because of the limited seating, in order for the for-profit not-so-serious concerts to be held there, the organizers are going to have to charge very high for the tickets. But for soprano/tenor concerts, choral concerts, piano recitals, and other serious concerts, there's no better place than Rodelsa.

Because of the limited seating, most events at the Rodelsa are by local theater groups and local artists only. The West Side Story will be performed by the University's theater group, I think. Last year they performed The Sound of Music. I can't understand why my alma mater, Xavier University (Ateneo de Cagayan), won't invest on a facility equal to that of Liceo de Cagayan University's Rodelsa Hall.

High drama

high drama

it's not enough to say
"you're beautiful"
the birds must sing
with such delight
as you pass by

it's not right to say
"you've such sweet smile"
my heart must leap
and my spirit fly
because you smiled

"you're friendly"
isn't gonna cut it
the sun must shine
like never before
after years of storm

"you've lovely voice"
is quite simplistic
my ears must flutter
and my heart dance each time
you whisper my name

i couldn't just say
"i miss you"
i have to say
"my heart yearns to see you again"
soon my friend

One long goodbye

The picture is that of I-forgot-what-hole of the Del Monte Golf Course in Manolo Fortich, Bukidnon. I took it September 17, 2006, hours before a phone conversation with a friend, to whom I dedicate the poem, a conversation where she told me she's boarding a plane that would take her to a city far from Cagayan de Oro (the city otherwise known as Los Angeles, CA). I thought we'll never see each other for a very long time.

I thought she'd never return. I was wrong, she did. I thought I was saying goodbye to her back then. That, too, was wrong. It's only now, five months later, that I am truly beginning to say goodbye. How ironic, too, that it's happening when she has returned. How things have changed from when I talked to her that night of September 17, to when I wrote the poem October 1, to now.

I'm beginning to say goodbye. Will it ever end? Shoud I even say goodbye?

dnt give me dat
drama, watevr u
col it. m tyrd...
- the friend to whom i dedicate this poem

Ears a flutter?

Fluttering ears. Now there's a pretty picture.

I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself
- Savage Garden, Affirmation

What?

In addition, the applicant is a charming, sweet lady with the most infectious smile I've ever known. She has such sweet smile that can lighten anybody's day. Her smile can lighten my day. Her glasses cannot hide those beautiful round eyes. She has such sweet voice, too. She can read the dictionary and I could listen to her all day. I love my friend. I love everything about her.

The question was: What skills/abilities does the applicant have that makes him/her ideal for -----?

Say what? And don't count the dashes. I'd like to think it's because it's February and it's two days before the fourteenth. Or maybe, just maybe, as one of our instructors in a recent training puts it, "must be the weather." Whatever it is, though, this guy's in love with his friend. Funny. Funny not because he's in love, funny because what is being asked for are "skills/abilities". Yeah, just in case you didn't get it. I have to explain.

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
- Savage Garden, Affirmation

Deathly hallows

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be published July 21, 2007. As always (since the fifth book, this is the seventh) I will be pre-ordering my copy from National Bookstore that I know for sure will release it on that day.

I always knew that Harry's story would end with the seventh book, but saying goodbye has been just as hard as I always knew it would be. Even while I'm mourning, though, I feel an incredible sense of achievement. I can hardly believe that I've finally written the ending I've been planning for so many years. I've never felt such a mixture of extreme emotions in my life, never dreamed I could feel simultaneously heartbroken and euphoric. - JK Rowling

I have until July 20 to reread books one to six. But even before I can start rereading them, I must finish reading Paulo Coelho's Veronika Decides To Die and Nicholas Sparks's A Walk To Remember first because I only borrowed them from my friends.

Walk with me

I'm renaming my blog, yet again, from Carl News Network to the simpler Walk With Carl. What does this mean? Nothing, really. I just have nothing better to do. For those who are interested (yeah right), the name history of this blog now looks like this:

• 2007 February - Walk With Carl
• 2005 September - Carl News Network
• 2004 May - The Smaller Picture

It has been a long walk since 2004 and I don't see it ending anytime soon. Along the way I have posted embarrassing stuffs as well as stuffs that I am proud of. Along the way I have posted a lot of questions, some of them have been answered. Along the way I have written things that were only true back then. There have been a lot of changes since I started this walk. This is just another one.

Do you have a minute? Walk with me.

Hayley

Walking with Hayley is like a guided tour of heaven. The rough road is transformed into a golden pathway. The houses that go whichever way quickly dressed up in uniforms. In a moment each one is as tall as the other one. I walk with Hayley and my steps go lighter every word she says. Problems, gone. Worries, gone. All smiles.

So why, tell me why the good die young my old friend
I pray that heaven waits for everyone in the end
And love, love is how we cross that bridge to the light
A star that is what you are in my darkest night
Be always by my side
-Hayley Westenra, Heaven

I smile even as she confides a sad story. I smile even as she tells it in the brink of tears. I smile because I hear in her voice a promise that everything is going to be okay. I walk away from her assured that I'm going to be fine. She gave me a small cross. Something to remember the promise by, her promise, God's promise. I'll meet my sister again for, as Hayley said, heaven waits for everyone in the end. Heaven will wait for me. My sister will wait for me. I will continue walking. Walk with me.

For Emily.

You belong to me

Last week on American Idol, 64-year old Sherman Pore of Los Angeles, California was able to get on the auditions despite him being way beyond the AI age limit of 29 because of the petition that he and his wife worked on. He dedicated his audition song, Dean Martin's You Belong to Me, to his wife. She died of cancer two days before he got on the auditions. He sang from the heart and sent Paula to tears and Simon to being pleasant. The song itself is a very simple and beautiful love song.

You can watch his audition here (from Youtube):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZhWwTreZs0

Or you can listen to the whole song here:
http://annak75.free.fr/zic/tome.mp3



You Belong To Me
(Dean Martin)

Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle
See the pyramids along the Nile
Just remember darlin', all the while
You belong to me

See the market place in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me

I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too and blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember 'til you're home again
You belong to me

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember 'til you're home again
You belong to me

Sana maulit muli

They say that life is a game of destiny and that love is a matter of fate. But what if destiny seems to be playing a trick on you? Will you change your destiny if you were given that one chance?

Now that I'm done watching the first five seasons of 24, I now have a few extra time to watch something else on television or to read a book. One of these "else" is Sana Maulit Muli, the newest drama series on ABS-CBN. I can't talk about the plot without spoiling anything, so just read the first paragraph (and quote) of this post. It pretty much sums up what you can expect from this drama.

I like this drama, especially the first two weeks of it. The story unfolds relatively faster compared to the usual slow-moving Filipino television drama. What I don't like about it, and about Filipino TV drama in general, are the paper-thin, underdeveloped, supporting characters (villain or otherwise). It seems that the writers focus on what the main characters are all about and then just surround them with predictable supporting characters. In the episodes that I've seen so far, for example, there's only one supporting character (Camille, the fake Poknat) that hints of being more than a flat, straight out villain. So aside from the Travis/Bokbok and Jasmine/Poknat characters, only Camille is believable.

Right now, I'm interested on what will happen next. I'm just not sure for how long. I'm not sure if I can sustain the interest.

24: Jack Bauer's longest days

On the day that this year started, I had nothing else better to do. Actually, I did not want anything better to do. I just wanted to sit on the couch and watch TV as a reward for sitting on the couch and watching TV and then listening to music for the first three hours of the new year. Anyway, I happen to stumble upon "24" season 4 marathon on channel 23 (Studio 23) and got hooked. What a beautiful drama! It got action and it got story and plenty of characters trying to make a difference. Days later I bought the DVD's (seasons 1 to 5). Right now I'm in the middle of season four. Yeah, I know I've already seen this season, this is the first season that I watched, but still the DVD version is much clearer. For the last few weeks I've been sleeping at around 1 o'clock in the morning due to this unhealthy craving for at least an episode a night no matter how late I come home. This is one well-written series. I'd say it's better than Lost, the other well-written series shown on AXN and Studio 23. It keeps me on the edge of my seat with its suspense, and has me fighting back tears with its drama. It has plenty of heroes and villains that are real people with real emotions with real dilemmas while being true heroes and true villains. You prick them (literally and figuratively) and they bleed and cry.

24 is mostly about a day in the life of Jack Bauer of the Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU) Los Angeles Domestic Unit trying to save America from an imminent terrorist strike. Each episode corresponds to one hour of the 24-hour period covered by each season. Each season is Jack Bauer's longest day. And it is the reason for my longest nights of this first month of the year.

2007 is here. Now what?

This seems to be my question at the start of every year. One week of holidays. And then it's over and a new year begins. Now what? I don't want to make any new year resolution, not because I'm confident that I won't achieve them, rather because I still can't think of any. I'd rather spread my resolutions throughout the year, every time I feel like resolving something.

What I'd like to do is the Consciousness Examen, explained by Fr. Jboy in his blog. I don't want to re-explain it here, but here in a nutshell are the steps in this examination:

1. prayer for enlightenment (prayer to see one's life as God sees it)
   
2. prayer of gratitude (thanksgiving for blessings received)
   
3. survey of actions (what areas in our life are deficient and need change)
   
4. sorrow and contrition (realization of our sinful tendencies and deficiencies)
   
5. hope for the future (see in the deepest part of your heart how you now face the future)
   

I'd be sure to write about the things that I come up with this exercise. It's meant to be done daily not just at the end or at the start of the year.

Letting go

For the better part of last December I have been trying to salvage a friendship that I now doubt really existed in the first place. It's very tiring. No true friendship can be this hard to save. It's time to let go. I believe I have done every humanly possible thing to try and save it. Again, I now doubt whether there was something to save in the first place. It's time to let go and move on. I'm taking positive steps to repair the wound inflicted on my soul. It's time to divert my efforts to true friends, those friends who wouldn't abandon me in a blink of an eye. Living in her fairytale for a few months had been wonderful, but every tale has to end. I have reached its end.

It's all in my hands

I worry too much. Sometimes too much that it rules my life. It's not good to dwell on one's worries. Sometimes it is easy to forget that it's all in God's hands. I'm not going to solve this problem soon. But I hope, from time to time, I'll be aware that I'm worrying too much so that I can tell myself, "Carl, stop worrying. Don't think of the problem. Think of the solution."