How do you say goodbye?

How do you say goodbye...

To the tree that continues to wave their leaves
To the wind that continues to blow
To the rain that continues to pour
To the sea that continues to rush to shore
To the sun that continues to smile

Even as you walk the other way
Even as you can no longer see them
Even as you find yourself miles away
Even as you discover new ones
Even as their pictures fade

They are still there

And you continue walking
Reminiscing
Singing
Thinking
Living

Life is a journey

Chloe's Song

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers, expectant mothers, and sisters who are acting like mothers to their siblings. Chloe is what my officemate, Michelle, calls her still-to-be-born child. Michelle is one true friend that anyone would be lucky to have. There's not a shred of doubt in my mind that she's going to make a great mother to Chloe. And Chloe knows this and, for sure, yearns for the day she'll be born and be held with the utmost care and most sincere love by her mother Michelle and her father Beau.

Chloe's Song

I am sure I am a lucky child
I know this before I am born
You are the most caring mother
I feel this before I see

"I love you, mom"
This I shall say
A thousand times
Before learning to speak

I enjoy your stories
I enjoy your songs
I long for your words
Before knowing what they mean

I am dancing with you
Before knowing how to walk
I am laughing with you
Before knowing how to smile

You put me to rest
And you wake me up
Before knowing what's morning
And how it differs from night

You fed me, and
Your love clothed me
Before knowing what's hunger
Before knowing to shiver

I long to be born, mom
Not to see the world
But to see you, be held by you
The first person who loved me

Thank you for having me
Thank you for being you
Happy Mother's Day
Soon, each other we'll see

Harry lives, predictions part 2

33 dead

Virginia Tech. Before I went to bed last night Fox News Channel was reporting 1 dead and 1 injured. When I woke up, that number rose to 33 dead including the gunman.

God bless the families of the victims.

Harry will survive book seven

A two and a seven

I didn't have a great plan for my birthday. But I did have a plan. Fasting and reflecting. I wanted to spend it by fasting and reflecting. Months ago I had a better plan. Go on a solitary retreat. I have a college classmate who had spent birthdays going on a retreat and I wanted to try it. But somehow I forgot about this better plan and it was too late when I remembered it. Fasting and reflecting is a fine alternative.

But I didn't even get to do it, completely. Somebody with a grudge ruined the plan. Worse is I actually half-expected she'd try to ruin the day.

So I went to see Pursuit of Happyness. My parents had better things to do, of course, than go with me to the movies, any movie. The movie was great. I got teary-eyed in the end. I don't think I was ever so happy for a character in a movie so as to be moved. But there I was, happy for Will Smith's character. I felt exactly the same when Charlie Bucket got the last Golden Ticket when I read Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Yeah, it is a children's book, but I was very happy for Charlie for getting the last ticket. In both movie and book, I knew the feeling. Both stories felt familiar.

At the end of the day, a lot of friends wished me well. And I thanked them all and wished something for them, instead of something for me. About a year ago, I blogged that if there's a day that I could skip once a year, it would have to be my birthday. This is true still. I'm not comfortable with all the attention that I get. I just want to skip it.

Veronika

veronika

the birds stopped singing
they just chirp
the trees stopped dancing
they just sway
the winds stopped talking
they just whisper

veronika thought
and she decided to die

and it paved the way for
other people deciding to live

the decision to take her life,
helped others decide to cherish their's
the irony that's killing her
is breathing life to other souls

***

Read Paulo Coelho's Veronika Decides To Die. Ironically, it's a story about living.

Moonlit vigil

As a child I discovered a garden
Where I could hide myself
Whenever I'm absent from life.
As a child I hid a sun
So my way could have light
And my silence a friend.
- Mario Frangoulis, TON EAFTO TOU PAIDI
- (translated from Greek)

On March 3, the Youth Ministry (where I'm a member) of the local chapter of the Oasis of Love went to the Pelaez Sports Center for the World Youth Day Cross Visit. The WYD cross that is on its way to Sydney for the 2008 World Youth Day was here in our city for two days. Young men and women from and around the city were called to have a vigil. We were supposed to stay there overnight, but since I was feeling weak due to my recent bout with colds and fever, I had to leave the vigil at around twelve midnight. I wish I completed that vigil. I really do.

There were parts of the program that called for all the lights to be turned off and for us to be silent. In those moments, I remember my stargazing nights with my childhood barkada (my neighbors). When I was a child, we can only get two channels. And when there's nothing good to see on TV, the barkada would all go outside into the barren streets (dirt path, really). We had this neighbor who had Bermuda grasses (or is it just grass) in front of their house and we would all go there and sit down and talk. We talked about anything. Talked about the day before. Talked about what happened earlier on the day. Talked about our future, our hopes, our dreams. After a while we'd get tired of talking and we'd just stay there and be under the moon and the stars. In silence. Some of us would lie on our backs (which on hindsight might not have been hygienic, but then again we're just kids) and some would just sit and stare blankly at the empty lot on the other side of the road.

In that WYD Cross Vigil, in that brief moment when the lights were turned off, and there was nothing but the moon that lighted the surrounding, when everyone was called to be silent, I remember my childhood friends and our little moonlit vigils as young kids with nothing important to do. I miss them. I miss those times.

He and himself as a child...
They'll stand together
And see passing by like rivers
Moments that never grow old,
And the faces
That have turned themselves into streets and centuries,
And the dreams
That have dug through the years' hideouts.
- Mario Frangoulis, TON EAFTO TOU PAIDI
- (translated from Greek)

Daughtry

I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
- Chris Daughtry, Home

I'm not really into rock, but I'm loving this album by AI5 finalist Chris Daughtry. It's entitled, Daughtry. I love all tracks, but my favorites are the first five tracks. Now if I have to pick just one favorite track, it would have to be track three, Home. This is like a rock album that makes sense.

I also like AI5 finalist Kellie Pickler's album, but I don't like Katharine McPhee's debut album. I don't think those who voted for McPhee are very happy with her debut album. I can't find the McPhee I saw and heard in the AI5 finals anywhere inside the album (or maybe that's her point? I don't get her). Contrast this to Pickler's debut album. What is likeable and loveable about Pickler is inside her album. I was rooting for McPhee to win AI5, but based on their albums alone it should have been Daughtry who won AI5, with Pickler as the runner up.

Home

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, it makes true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.

Wisdom

For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth
come knowledge and understanding.
- Proverbs 2:6

Note to self: Don't put your happiness in someone else's hands.

***

Note to self: Don't let your free-time dull your brain by watching too much TV. Learn two new languages. Learn Spanish, the language of Spain. Learn Ruby, the language of happy programmers (supposedly). Starting tomorrow if possible. Or how about tonight?

***

Note to self: You really must finish reading Veronika Decides To Die. It's not your book, you just borrowed it from a friend and you should be rereading Harry Potter books one to six by now. That's over 2,000 pages of Harry Potter to read before July 21, 2007.

***

The eight of us: Mae, Eric, Chris, Michelle, Ealbert, PJ, Bimbo, and me. We were supposed to watch 300 last Friday. But we ended up just having dinner at PJ's house. The six of them: fish, rice, fish, Coke, pineapple, and water. I hope we'll push through this Friday.

***

If for every kind word you say you are given one peso, and for every unkind word one peso is taken away from you, will you then be rich or poor?

Tsk tsk tsk... Last week, just because of this person, I would have been on the streets begging for pesos. I remember the 90-10 rule. And it's time to fight back. Time to be happy again.